Escape From Intimacy

Blame the Recession

2009-04-04T04:09:00.001-04:00

Jealousy is probably the ugliest emotion. You are never so petty as when you're fueled by jealousy. You become obsessed; every quality about her is just another reason she's totally wrong for him. You even go looking for these reasons: secretly reading their conversations and looking at her pictures (fucking Facebook!), torturing yourself endlessly until you can finally find a flaw and say "ha!" But in the end, you're the pathetic one, aren't you? Because even now, he's probably with her, and you're left alone in your conviction and bitterness. And when he comes to you for help, confessing his doubts, don't celebrate too soon! It may seem like his relationship is failing, but even these little triumphs are only rejections in disguise. Soon enough, he'll be back in her arms, and you'll know she has won again. You've been pushed into the backseat of his romantic life, and you'll probably be stuck there forever, watching helplessly as he picks up girl after girl, each more awful than the next. Maybe at first, you'd only ever wanted to be his friend anyway, but now, friendship seems like nothing more than a consolation prize. Because through it all, even if you know him better than all his collective girlfriends combined, you're still painfully aware of always being held at arm's length.
-Amy

Home is Where the Heart is

2009-03-27T11:48:00.013-04:00

I’ve always found loneliness to be a fascinating sensation. When you’re happy or sad or angry, you can generally pinpoint the source of your feelings. But loneliness seems to creep in unannounced in the night and by the time you wake up, it has already unpacked its things – like an unwanted guest that is bound to overstay its visit. Every day you wake up, lay in bed with eyes forced shut and hope that it’ll be gone when you open them. But alas, not today. Today you still find trashing your room; today it’ll still follow you to work and take up the seats next to you so of course you have to sit alone at lunch. Because loneliness breeds loneliness – when you’re filled with a sense of isolation and abandonment, you really just want to be alone. And even when you reluctantly surround yourself with people, you feel just like you do when you wake up in your cold bed in the morning. You can be on a perfect date with a really great guy, or locked in a passionate embrace with a stranger for the night – but in the end, you still feel alone. The paradox is particularly frustrating when being with another person actually makes you feel more alone. You seek out their company, but as soon as you leave, a flood overcomes you – and you realize that hour or two or ten will never be worth what you feel when it ends. But you can’t stop because you’re so tired of feeling alone. So no matter what you choose to do – become a recluse or seek out comfort – turns out that loneliness? Has nothing to do with being alone.
-Gal

You Want the Rest of Your Life to Start as Soon as Possible

2009-03-23T00:13:00.003-04:00

Hello, hello. Look!--we haven't died, perhaps in spite of our better judgment. We hope missing us hasn't torn your heart out too terribly. We were just taking a little hiatus in the name of self-exploration. Now, I can't speak for Gal, but self-exploration in my case meant many nights sitting alone on my bed, staring blankly into my laptop, and emitting the occassional moan. This was quite reminiscent of that only slightly pathetic scene in When Harry Met Sally. But, for those of you who have seen that clinching speech he makes in the end ("When you realize you want to spend the rest of your life with someone...!"), you know that a little moaning can go a long way. I have no idea what I mean by that.

In any case, I believe--I hope--we have come up with some promising results! Our next little "project," if you will, is going to be an exposee on the subtleties of human emotion. This means, as Gal so eloquently put it, that each of our strips will focus on a feeling "other than happy or sad." Sounds positively stimulating, no? All kidding aside, though...we'd like to examine those emotions that are usually overlooked. The ones that you can't quite put your finger on. Or maybe your finger's already on it, and you're just hoping no one else notices. So we hope in this next series of strips, you discover something you can relate to. Enjoy!

(Also, I apologize that my writing skills have gone to shit. Shit.)
-Amy

Make Me a Sinner

2009-01-02T14:15:00.000-05:00

Temptation. That red juicy apple dangling before your eyes with a big "Do Not Eat" sign glaring at you. It's not that you're confused - you know you shouldn't eat the apple. You know the consequences are probably awful and when you rationalize it, you realize that no apple could possibly be worth it. But as hard as you try to get away from it, to resist the urge to sink your teeth into its raw flesh, you can't get it off your mind. So you knit and you shop but you're always thinking about how delicious that apple would be; how mouthwatering, how refreshing, how satisfying. And you do what any ignorant, self-indulgent individual would do: you ask yourself "what's the worst that could happen?" I mean, you don't know for sure what the consequences are; you've just been told that they exist. The pleasure you could get from finally giving into your desires - finally holding that crimson fruit in your mouth, letting juice drip down your chin - is much more tangible than any fear of the unknown. Adam and Eve couldn't fight it, so why should you? So with the beginning of another year - another long year of rules and obligations - remember this: we've already been banished from Eden. What's the harm with taking a bite from an apple here and there? Embrace desire! And have a very happy new year.

The Fine Print

2008-12-26T18:15:00.001-05:00

We're back!... sort of.

I Got an Icebox

2008-11-01T13:49:00.000-04:00

Look At The Size of His Gun

2008-10-26T21:17:00.001-04:00

Due to unforseen circumstances, we will start updating with new comics next week.

Hell Hath No Fury

2008-10-23T23:16:00.001-04:00

Get Stronger Meds

2008-10-23T22:58:00.000-04:00

It Was a Graveyard

2008-10-21T23:11:00.000-04:00

The Real Justice League

2008-10-20T23:38:00.000-04:00

ps: fuck you alice =)

<333

Some Things ARE Black and White

2008-10-19T21:57:00.003-04:00

Gasp! We have returned! For the next few days, Amy and I will be posting last year's (read: shitty) comics in preparation for our newly made ones. Basically, these are the ones that never quite made the cut. So come back next Saturday for new and improved comics!

We hope you missed us. So much it hurt sometimes.

Autumn is a Lonely Season

2008-07-21T01:03:00.008-04:00

“When it’s dark enough, you can see the stars.”

– Persian proverb

There are many different kinds of pain in the world: physical, mental, emotional. And even though our emotions are so much less tangible than our bodies or our minds, somehow when they hurt, they hurt the most. But even emotional pain comes in so many varieties. You can be rejected, insulted, ignored. You can feel great loss or disappointment. Or the cold sting of betrayal. But it’s not just the source of the pain that matters: it’s the reaction. There can be broken hearts and then there are hearts that are simply beaten down. Trampled on. Walked all over and poked and prodded and squeezed until there is no spring left in the muscular tissue that used to pump life through your veins. The broken hearts stop -- they take a break to recover and come back almost as good as new. But being trampled on doesn't feel like enough to make you stop. It hurts in ways you can't imagine enduring, but just not in a way that makes you retreat. There’s just enough left over that makes you want to hold on despite everything -- despite the fact that what used to pump life now just twitches once in a while. And that? That’s the worst kind of pain. The kind of pain that takes everything out of you but doesn’t wake you up to reality. Doesn’t make you think: why the fuck am I putting up with this. Instead, you take the pain, wherever it’s coming from, and you keep getting back up, acting as if you aren’t hurt just because you haven't shattered. Not because you want to protect your pride… but because your brain just hasn’t gotten the message that hey, maybe this isn’t supposed to feel like this. So yeah, there are broken hearts and broken bones and they all heal eventually. But we have to let things break before we can try to put them back together.
-Gal

Maybe I'm Just Being Picky

2008-07-01T12:14:00.002-04:00

"I read hands to tell your past;
Each scar marks a story
worth telling..."
-Sarah Kay

Too Bad I Had AIDS

2008-06-09T22:13:00.000-04:00

Aren't they cute? But deadly.

Quid Pro Quo

2008-06-01T20:44:00.002-04:00

I wanna fuck you so loudly the neighbors cum in their sleep.
Wanna do things that are only legal because
no one's ever thought to pass laws against them.
Lover, if you're willing to go to prison for the shit you do to me
I promise I will never turn you in...
-Rachel McKibbens and Marty McConnell

Mine Are Bigger

2008-05-23T23:42:00.003-04:00

Maybe it's just me, but it always seems like there are moments when you know you need to confront a problem. The gaping hole in conversation begs for it. And it's not something fun, and chances are the conversation won't end well, but as long as you stay silent, nothing will be resolved. So you wait. You stall, make jokes, convince yourself that next time you'll find a better opening to bring it up. But you keep pushing 'next time' back. And by now, you already know exactly what you want to say. Why? Because instead of talking about the issue with someone who needs to know it, you talk to your friends - stay in the comfort zone. The sentences are in your head, rehearsed, and by now, a part of you wants to forget the whole thing because it's been done to death. You know your lines, and you can guess theirs with what you assume is perfect accuracy. But you shouldn't just let it go. Because sometimes, you're wrong. So rarely do we take the plunge and have that difficult discussion, that we don't realize: people can surprise you. Sometimes, they're just as eager as you to deal with the issue; and someone needs to be the bigger person. So embrace the mortification! Because the alternative could be losing someone forever.
-Gal

How Do I Tell You

2008-05-16T22:11:00.001-04:00

For Everyone to See

2008-05-03T02:23:00.001-04:00

She Always Ruins the Moment

2008-04-18T22:12:00.001-04:00

For anyone who's interested, this comic is clearly not based on actual events. It's impossible to think tiff is sexually inadequate. She's a freak in the sack.

Tell Me You Don't Matter

2008-04-12T16:24:00.015-04:00

So yesterday I went to the Poetry Festival, and it's left me feeling like everything I write is silly or awkward or whatever. You really have to admire people who can articulate how they feel, who can take something you've wanted to say forever and put it to exactly the right words. Maybe you have to be born with it...this talent to see and feel things around you that you can magic into text on paper. But personally, I'm hoping it's something that can be learned. I want to inspire..!

jfalsdjfal;sdjfal;sdkjfasl;dfjasdfj
Yeah so I'm kind of in a state of literary depression. Or something.

Anyway, this week I decided that you're probably bored of our usual comics, and as we've failed to come up with any new material lately, I thought you'd be interested in Marty McConnell [link]. She was at EBHS yesterday. She is amazing and passionate and I'm completely in love with her. Click and enjoy :)

"...tell me you don't matter to a universe that conspired
to give you such a tongue, such rhythm
or rhythmless hips, such opposable thumbs –
give thanks or go home a waste of spark

speak or let the maker take back your throat
march or let the creator rescind your feet
dream or let your god destroy your good and fertile mind

this is your warning / this
your birthright / do not let
this universe regret you."

[Edit] Un-fucking-believable.
-Amy

Only When Sober

2008-03-29T14:43:00.002-04:00

So we've really been neglecting this, we know. And we can't even give you any meaningful rant because quite frankly, we are uninspired, frustrated, and emotionally repressed hermits at the moment. As compensation, we decided to post something scandalous. How raunchy.

Maybe He'll Come To the Funeral

2008-03-07T23:22:00.002-05:00

No one in their right mind would want that diagnosis. Because "love" makes things messy. It destroys deep-rooted friendships in a single afternoon -- the sparks fly and the person you thought you knew for years is suddenly different in an almost "magical" way. But the magic disappears. You destroy one another, but the sparks are still too hard to put out once you let them latch on. Love has tainted history from that twisted encounter between Helen and Paris; the burning passions of youth have incinerated entire empires. And then it's also a lie. It's a lie we tell ourselves, and worse, one that we tell other people with those three words we always want to hear. So we lie, and we trap ourselves and innocent victims; and should we see through the lie and want to end it, we end up lying more -- cheating more. Or feelings fade, but the pain still remains and we are never the same for it. And after centuries of letting it govern our lives, it's time we stopped romanticizing romance, and stopped lying to ourselves about what this "love" can and cannot do. It's time we said, "Down with love."
-Gal

American Pie

2008-03-02T14:03:00.003-05:00

Hey guys, sorry for the very late update this week. Usually Gal does it but she's in Massachusetts for the weekend at a college interview. Everyone wish her luck!
-Amy

That's So Twisted

2008-02-22T22:49:00.001-05:00

Is That What They See?

2008-02-15T20:18:00.002-05:00

What desire is there for fantasy when destruction seeps into anything we create? So much pointless suffering just because we prefer imagining people's lives rather than trying to reach out to them...

Hills Have Eyes

2008-02-09T20:35:00.000-05:00

Another Chance

2008-02-01T22:09:00.000-05:00

I've been looking back on the past few years. A train of thought more fitting for new year's, but life just postponed it by a month - coincidently a new year in a more egocentric manner. I thought about the things I've accomplished and experienced. The things I've sacrificed and the opportunities that passed me by. The people I've gotten to know so much better, and the others that drifted away. I started thinking about the things that make up our lives and decided: we are so much more than our grades, dreams, and experiences. Instead, we are the people who break through our barriers. We are that newly-made friend you never imagined tolerating, let alone admiring. We are the people we let slip away - reminders of how fragile a relationship is, no matter how long it took to build. So I realized that while I wish I stayed close to certain people, I'm generally satisfied with the way life turned out. Although I can remember having a completely different and much more intimate dynamic with some people, the status quo came about for a reason. Inevitably, friends become strangers, and strangers become friends; and maybe we need to experience loss to get closer to the people we truly love: an opportunity I wouldn't give up for any second-attempt at the past. Ultimately, we have to let some people go, and let others in, for the sake of our own growth. But most importantly, we have to focus on the people we have in our lives, rather than the ones we've lost. We are only as strong as our friends and our capacity to appreciate them.
-Gal

Woman Up!

2008-02-01T17:54:00.000-05:00

It Was Like A Maze

2008-01-27T18:19:00.001-05:00

Sorry for the belated update, guys. I guess we were just too caught up in our exciting lives. Ha ha.
-Amy

Make Great Dildos Too

2008-01-18T19:42:00.000-05:00

They've Come For Me

2008-01-11T12:51:00.000-05:00

It Happens More Often Than Not

2008-01-04T14:50:00.001-05:00

The Once-ler Won

2007-12-28T11:43:00.001-05:00

Why Spoil the Surprise

2007-12-25T20:24:00.000-05:00

My True Love Gave to Me

2007-12-24T12:15:00.000-05:00

[insert poignant observation about the holiday season here.]

So This is How it Ends

2007-12-23T15:18:00.000-05:00

Just as Good as a Pancreas

2007-12-22T12:22:00.000-05:00

Not Like In The Movies

2007-12-21T14:57:00.000-05:00

So here's a treat for all of you: in honor of the holiday season, we will be posting updates every day until Christmas =) Happy festivus for the rest of us!

We Can't Go Back

2007-12-14T21:22:00.000-05:00

So these couple of days are very stressful for those of you waiting on college results. I know you guys don't want to hear about school, but I've been so frustrated by this whole process. Rejection hurts like hell. Naturally. The problem is, a lot people of become fixated on this idea of what they want for themselves, and then when they don't necessarily get it, they fall into this depression thing where suddenly their futures are hopeless and ruined and they'll never be successful again. But really, think about how many more times you're going to get rejected in life. Failure occurs more often than not -- that job you weren't hired for, or the girl you'll never get a date with. Are you going to cry about it every time? Of course not! Think of all the things that'll be happening around you as you sit at home and mope. Life doesn't wait for you to get over every little failure. Yes, college is a big deal. But your future doesn't have to depend on it. If a mindless application form and 500 words defines how you spend the rest of your life, what's the point of all the rest? Your future isn't just a straight road stretched out in front of you. Maybe you're just taking a detour, or maybe you'll discover a completely new path. Okay, you didn't get your first choice. But if you keep your mind open, chances are you'll realize that there is more than one way to be happy. So go find your next opportunity!

By the way, congratulations to all who got accepted! :D
-Amy

Anonymous

2007-12-07T15:21:00.001-05:00

fire crackling beneath exposed socks consuming the black vacant void above lonely stars smoke consumes the ashen faces the bliss a sham but onlookers missing the flames the destruction the hope and self-pity of convincing yourself that twilight will come with a bottle of vodka grasping for a rope gasping for air consumed by spontaneity we wonder when salvation meant more than an improvised protest and proverbial hearts worn on our sleeves baking sprinkled cupcakes we wonder how to crucify ourselves on cheap mascara a diet of gum and water starvation is never enough for postmodern decadence cadences dissonance we wonder if redemption will come with white nectarine and pink coral blossoms shampoo radiating among the smoke fizzing bubbling singing laughing tearing stop snap crackle and pop tarts burning in the oven with the smell of Christmas morning fading away with proverbial sparks the most beautiful tragedy of the year but we forget the freckles lined up like soldiers ready to die for a packaged cause money back guarantee entwined in you and me we fall from grace inferiority a shadow looming overhead.
-Gal

Misconceptions

2007-11-30T19:15:00.000-05:00

When in the pursuit of love a love so true so deep don’t sh sh sh sha la don’t ruin a good thing don’t pursue only sh sh sh sha discard your halfway hopes your downtrodden exhausted hopes to settle instead for a functional relationship I expand the differererence being tact not honesty so do not ruin a good thing but say what is right though not necessarily true like I love the way your sweat your skin under the bright sun of a blue summer a green summer a yellow not necessarily a gray I love the way your eyes make me feel meditated enlightened reincarnated your fingers your teeth your your you’re smiling as if to say do not ruin a good thing darling as if to say without honesty you may fail to find with tact the perfect romance the perfect man the perfect kiss but at least you will be happy when tact not honesty is most important for how else do politicians ruin a good thing when I mean to say love is not a democracy not a choice by the people but an accident.
-Amy

Garfield Gone Wild

2007-11-23T17:19:00.000-05:00

For Health Reasons

2007-11-16T16:49:00.000-05:00

I've often wondered about that feeling you get when you're with someone you love. Or lust for. The butterflies, as it were. The overwhelming feeling of being excited just at the sight of a person - at the thought of being near them, even for a moment. Where does this feeling come from? It's quite similar to feeling sick, in a way. You get flushed, your heart races, your blood seems to pound in your veins. Yet, we instinctively interpret it as a good feeling: we become addicted to the rush of love, addicted to the idea of being in love. So where does the distinction come from? Why don't we seek the feeling of being sick (or perhaps we do)? And why don't we avoid love like the plague its symptoms resemble? Maybe some of us do. Maybe the distinction is too fine for some of us to notice, that we recoil at our emotions, and run away from romantic opportunity. We get that feeling in our stomach, we notice our heart constricting, and we think: oh no. Not this again. So we sabotage our love lives. Only to discover that pangs of loneliness aren't a big improvement.
-Gal

Can I just add that Gal is my soulmate? I don't mind being lovesick for her.
-Amy

Skipping Pleasantries

2007-11-09T12:21:00.000-05:00

So who doesn't have strange fetishes? People shouldn't be judged for liking feet...or urination. Whatever gets you hard, right? In any case, bodily fluids are a lot less damaging than heartbreak. Society is so used to judging other people's quirks that we don't notice that our collective fetish does more harm than any other: a fetish for love. Sure, it sounds innocent enough, but it always ends the same way -- and broken hearts don't heal as well as scarred thighs. At least people get pleasure out of S&M. No one asks to have their feelings hurt, and when it happens, it's not even much of a turn on. So you might be disgusted by our sexual practices, but we won't be the ones with urinary tract infections. Who's hot now, bitch?
-Amy

Sugar Rush

2007-11-02T13:34:00.000-04:00

Not So Free Fall

2007-10-26T15:57:00.000-04:00

We've all been there - disaster. You see it coming and you find yourself the deer in the headlights, caught with no escape. Sometimes it's a car crashing towards you; other times, it's the one person you know you shouldn't fall for. With all our prefrontal cortex advancements, you'd think humans would have more reasoning skills. You'd think we'd be able to, as we see our mistakes unfold, say "i should stop while i'm ahead!" But alas, we know we're making the wrong choice, and we know we'll pay for it tomorrow, but there's no way to change it. It's like those dreams where you feel like you can't move. Your muscles lock and you find yourself frozen in time - except time keeps moving. It's paralysis of the mind: something up there just freezes up, the signals stop, and you fall. You fall so deep and so fast that all it takes is a second of hesitation and the mistake has been made; and then you're in it for good with little chance of climbing out. So like Alice, as she fell down the rabbit hole, all you can do is wait - and hope there's something at the bottom to break your fall.

-Gal

Like a Bad Porno

2007-10-19T19:21:00.000-04:00

Now, I know we're always complaining that chivalry is dead, but really, no one wants a man who says "Please" and "Thank you" during sex and wants to cuddle afterward. God, save it for your mom. And, y'know, sometimes a two minute jerk-off after dinner on Wednesday night isn't enough! Sure, an opened door and a tipped hat are pretty nice, but you've got to respect our other needs too. This is not even about a toe-curling, top-of-the-lungs, bang-me-against-the-headboard fuck -- maybe all we're looking for is a little passion. Or maybe we're just tired of faking our orgasms.
-Amy

To be honest, I'm looking for a toe-curling, top-of-the-lungs, bang-me-against-the-headboard fuck.
-Gal

Just Fuck Off

2007-10-12T15:00:00.000-04:00

And so ends your first week of rationing. Did you survive? Did it help you understand the mentality of Americans during the world wars? Do you suddenly have the urge to BUY BONDS? Unfortunately, from here on out, your strength shall be tested further. Updates will now only be on Fridays: another reason to love that glorious day. Maybe what we lose in frequency, we'll make up for in quality. Or maybe you'll just wait a whole week to get some shit. Whatever.

-Gal

I'm a Cowgirl

2007-10-10T15:17:00.001-04:00

New Posting Schedule

2007-10-09T15:27:00.000-04:00

Alas! The time has come for us to cut you off from your daily escape from intimacy! No, not really... you'll just have fewer escapes. For this week, we shall update Monday, Wednesday, and Friday as a sort of transitional period for you. Afterwards, updates will only be once a week :o i know, it's devastating, but think how much you'll look forward to that one day, whenever it might be. If you have any concerns about your mental health during this weaning-off period, find something else to fill the void: i like to drink my way out of emptiness.
-Gal

I Found I Could Cry

2007-10-08T15:54:00.000-04:00

Down Memory Lane

2007-10-07T15:41:00.001-04:00

She Looked Beautiful

2007-10-06T15:40:00.000-04:00

Unrequited love is familiar territory - we can look to the great Masters like Shakespeare, Eliot, and Cervantes to understand it and move on. But what happens when we need to move on from the reciprocated? While seemingly simple, the complications of mutual love are magnified by their infrequency: we have no one to tell us how to deal when this idyllic situation goes awry. Because usually, things work out; A + B, provided mutual attraction, yield C: a carefree couple that's madly in love. But when they don't? Then we're on our own. We can't continue with the naive belief that emotions alone drive our love lives; we can't assume that if something is meant to be, it actually will be. Life just gets in the way sometimes. We feel the chemistry, the proverbial sparks, but no amount of passion can overcome the boundaries of circumstance. Love does not always conquer all. So how can you change your emotions, when logically, if two people love one another, they live happily ever after? How do you live knowing you grasped perfection, but life took it away?
-Gal

Out of This World

2007-10-05T15:00:00.000-04:00

It's Win-Win!

2007-10-04T15:33:00.001-04:00

When We Get Off

2007-10-03T15:27:00.001-04:00

Call Me Jenny

2007-10-02T15:31:00.000-04:00

Don't Judge Us!

2007-10-01T15:32:00.001-04:00

Dead Baby Jokes

2007-09-30T16:44:00.001-04:00

They Smell Like Him

2007-09-29T14:23:00.000-04:00

Why is it that we're constantly drawn towards the people and things that give us pain? Whether it's unhealthy relationships, dangerous activities, or a high pressure life, we never stop to backtrack into safe territory. We cross the line between something that's secure to enter a forbidden area: we see the signs that say "Warning: High Voltage" but we enter anyways. Is it because we think we're stronger than those who came before us? We watch ourselves make the mistakes of our predecessors, but we constantly think that somehow, this time it'll be different. We'll make it different. Or maybe we're all masochists in a way - the pain starts to feel good once in a while when we forget what true misery is like. Does the suffering make us feel real? Or are we just searching for pain because that's the only way we can be sure to relate to the human experience? As REM already told us, everybody hurts: maybe we unconsciously put ourselves in vulnerable positions because we're programmed to try to act human - or at least like our version of it. Or maybe it's like that saying: Why do I keep hitting myself with a hammer? Because it feels so good when I stop. We just happen to have a hard time stopping.

-Gal

Spacier Than an Astronaut

2007-09-28T14:45:00.001-04:00

It's Been 13 Years

2007-09-27T19:27:00.001-04:00

Puts a whole new spin on being hard.

-Gal

Good Riddance

2007-09-26T18:36:00.001-04:00

Don't Look Down

2007-09-25T17:52:00.000-04:00

Damaged Goods

2007-09-24T14:43:00.000-04:00

Actually, we've found that even assholes won't fall in love with us.

Happy Anniversary

2007-09-23T12:09:00.001-04:00

Surprise!

2007-09-22T10:22:00.001-04:00

We'll Feast Like Kings

2007-09-21T14:51:00.000-04:00

The Last Battle

2007-09-20T15:13:00.000-04:00

Why do we have to wait for something like this to happen before we can get close to someone? While it's great that a crisis can bring two people together, why can't people have the foresight to express themselves before they feel an impending loss? If we forget to tell the people we love how we feel about them, we may find that when that long-anticipated crisis comes, it'll be too late. So don't wait to be cornered! Tell your mom you love her every night.

-Gal

I Need New Shoes

2007-09-19T15:10:00.000-04:00

"I like doody." -Amy

Please

2007-09-18T15:16:00.000-04:00

One Morning

2007-09-17T14:54:00.000-04:00

And They Were Purple

2007-09-16T12:07:00.001-04:00

Oh sure, it sounds like a ridiculous progression of conversation. But alas, many members of the male species seem to think that licking, among other actions, is a sign of virility - that we women quake and drop our panties at the thought of them touching other girls. Now, don't feel bad if you've made this mistake before: apparently all guys do this. But please, do feel bad if you don't take this opportunity to learn and correct your ways. You CAN just stop at "i love you." Quite frankly, that gets into our panties way faster.

-Gal

As My Heart Breaks

2007-09-15T13:10:00.000-04:00

Enough For Everyone

2007-09-14T12:01:00.000-04:00

I really feel like baking some time soon.

-Gal
----------
Hey Gal, you know how I know you're gay? See above.

HA! that's for calling my face challenged. You know how sensitive I am about it!

-Amy

Got Gin?

2007-09-13T18:16:00.000-04:00

Don't pretend like you don't do this. We've all stood in front of a mirror at some point, practicing faces either for fun or because you want to know what other people see when you think you're looking wry. Me? I practice my faces whenever possible - passing by a window or mirror, waiting in lines, not listening to people speak... these are all valuable moments that we often take for granted as time wasted, when in fact, we could be improving our face-making skills. So try it! And if you're like me (challenged in the face making department) or like Amy (challenged in the face department xP just kidding) you might just find that all your hard work has paid off. Or you'll get killer face cramps. Until then, let's all drink gin and make wry faces =D

-Gal

I Charge By the Hour

2007-09-12T18:49:00.000-04:00

I recall a comment Alice made previously saying she was afraid I'd make the caption for my brother's photo dirty. So, sorry Alice! I think other than this one, you won't see any more disturbing things where Jeffrey is involved (though I make no guarantees!)

Tonight, I was driving home from a frustrating visit to Shoprite (those self-check-out things make me absolutely insane) along Old Stage -- the usual route. I don't know, maybe it was the darkness, or the music, or the fact that I was pretty deeply immersed in some pointless thoughts about French bread, but I suddenly realized I couldn't identify where I was. It was so silly, because I had driven there about 1,000 times. So for the two seconds this feeling lasted, I was frantically wondering if an early case of Alsheimer's had set in. Anyway, recognition hit me shortly after -- still, it was just so surreal and disorienting and bizarre that I spent the rest of the ride home thinking about it. Had I experienced first-hand the sensation of being Lost In Thought? Was I just going fucking crazy? What a mystery. I guess the point I'm ultimately trying to come to is that it was kind of cool, this discovery of myself to be so detached from the world. However brief, it was a nice break from the chaos of this week.
-Amy

They Never Find My Clit

2007-09-11T17:23:00.000-04:00

Table For Five

2007-09-10T17:56:00.001-04:00

The Smile is Deceiving

2007-09-09T21:30:00.000-04:00

They Ran the Stop Sign

2007-09-08T19:43:00.000-04:00

no one ever wanted to elope with me =(

-Gal

Victory Was Mine

2007-09-07T13:12:00.000-04:00

What Did You Name Yours?

2007-09-06T13:11:00.000-04:00

I think we're ALL hoping neither Callum nor Elliott happens upon this website. And if they do, you'll know, because we'll be dead. In which case, enjoy our funerals and please remind these two ladies that it was all done in the name of art!
-Amy

They'll Get Theirs

2007-09-05T13:16:00.000-04:00

I always thought it would be really cool to be immune to poison. Honestly, that was like, the coolest part of The Count of Monte Cristo. At least, I think it was in that book... it's actually been like, four years since we read it. Wow. Why does time pass quickly only retrospectively? Maybe for the same reason that trains feel like they're going faster when you're facing the back. I think I should turn around and let things slow down before we get to the next stop.

-Gal
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See, now you guys know why I always laugh at Gal's knock-knock jokes. I just don't like that almondy taste! But when she starts on the women jokes -- that's when it crosses the line. It's not even worth living then.
-Amy

Does Anyone?

2007-09-04T15:48:00.001-04:00

I think these are questions that run through everyone's minds every once in a while. Admittedly, the second one seems silly in comparison, but no less important! Anyway, we probably just as often wonder about the other side of the situation -- that is, who we would miss. Today while babysitting my brother, I accidentally fell asleep on the couch as he played with his toys. I awoke an hour later to find that he had crawled up next to me and, still clutching his red Power Ranger, was snoring in the cute way that only little kids can pull off. You know -- typical Kodak moment. And I realized that time was running out; soon he'll have grown into a stage where being kissed by your big sister is totally mortifying. Sure, he won't be physically gone, but the part of him that's still okay with naptime will be. I know this is only natural, a sure sign that he's growing up, and we'll probably develop a different, more mature type of bond. All the same, I'll miss the little boy. Ah, maybe I'm getting too sentimental -- you're probably gagging at the mushyness of it all. And who knows, it's possible I'll just lose this feeling once Jeffrey wakes up and starts wreaking havoc again.

-Amy
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Hey Amy, you know how I know you're gay? You feel the need to express your emotions about growing up and loving your family. God, be a man.

-Gal

Peekabo!

2007-09-03T16:04:00.000-04:00

Today I realized, being extremely tired and being drunk appear the same to onlookers. As I stumbled my way to the bathroom in our local bookstore after a real all-nighter, I wondered if nice Suburban moms were trying to distract their children from my shameful - or so it appeared - existence. You'd think the 1990's ponytail, geeky glasses, and massive bags under my eyes would've been more obvious, but I guess people see what they want to see. Maybe I just wanted to see judgmental suburbanites. Maybe we're too busy seeing what we think is around us, to actually notice if we're seeing anything at all. oooooh. I guess being extremely tired and being high also sound similar too.

-Gal

So Why Are You Upset

2007-09-02T18:48:00.000-04:00

This seems like an appropriate time to mention that although we don't always follow the rules of society, Amy and I do not condone all behavior mentioned on this site. Although it may be fun to watch people sleep and do stuff to your roommate when she's not awake, you have to know your limits. So remember: inanimate objects can't file complaints against you.

-Gal

Like Being in Love

2007-09-01T20:10:00.000-04:00

Hi all,

So this is the first of many (hopefully) posts. I'm not sure what to say about this...I guess it's a sort of experiment Gal and I started. Then we got a little crazy and ended up having way too much fun with it. "It" being a series of mostly non-related comic strips based on partly personal experience and partly our own insanity, inspired by A Softer World. Anyway, we'll be posting about one a day or so for a while...and meanwhile trying to come up with more. We don't yet know how successful this will be - it might all go down the drain once school starts. Until then, we'll be "slummin' it" (a special thanks to Gal for that amazing phrase)!

I hope you'll enjoy!
Amy
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Dear reader(s),

It's certainly interesting viewing one's creations on the interweb. Definitely surprised to see our project get this far, but I guess we had enough insanity bottled up in us to last a while. If we fade into oblivion, be sure to avoid withdrawal by visiting A Softer World. And once you realize how much better they are than us, we'll completely understand if you stop reading our junk. Until you figure that out, I hope you enjoy the qualities of our personalities that make normal human interaction impossible. Cause we certainly do!

-Gal